Family dynamics can undergo significant changes when a parent decides to remarry. This is a life-altering event that can bring about a myriad of emotions and, even worse, accidental disinheritance.

In this blog, we'll look at what your parent's second marriage can mean for you, touching on topics including inheritance, predatory marriage, and the emotional challenges that arise when one of your parents is replaced.

Accidental Disinheritance

One of the foremost concerns that individuals may grapple with when a parent remarries is the inadvertent impact on inheritance. Without careful estate planning, there's a risk of unintentionally disinheriting biological children. It's crucial to have open and honest conversations with your parent about your concerns and to encourage them to consult with a professional to ensure that everyone's interests are considered and protected.

Predatory Marriages

Care workers marrying their elderly patients is one example, but a predatory marriage can take many forms. Those with brain injuries or learning difficulties are also vulnerable to this type of manipulation. Any unscrupulous individual might consider marriage to gain access to a vulnerable person's estate.

Coercive relationships are often kept secret from the vulnerable person's family, who may not know the marriage has taken place until after the event or after their death.

Marrying for money is not a new concept. In the Regency era, having children was a primary reason to marry - either for male heirs to continue the family name or to contribute to family income and support later in life.

Exploiting vulnerable people, however, is abhorrent in all cases.

Predatory marriage can have even more devastating financial consequences. Under English law, marriage automatically revokes (cancels) any previous Will (section 18 of the Wills Act 1837). If a new Will is not validly signed and witnessed after marriage, the intestacy rules will decide who inherits.

The UK is experiencing a rapidly growing ageing population, with around 12 million people now over 65. As an ageing population, we're more likely to suffer from multiple long-term health conditions meaning care and assistance are more likely to be needed. We may become more dependent on family, friends, neighbours, and carers. In most cases, those relationships are built on kindness and good intentions. However, predatory marriage is on the increase.

Joan Blass was 91 and had dementia when she married a man 23 years her junior. She died five months later, and her husband inherited her estate. Joan’s predatory marriage story.

It's essential to be vigilant and protective of your parent's well-being, keeping an eye out for any signs of manipulation or coercion. If you suspect foul play, seeking legal advice may be necessary to safeguard your parent's assets and rights.

Can predatory marriage be prevented?

The law is not a great help to those who lack capacity or are unfairly influenced and fall victim to a predator.

The Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 states that a marriage is not automatically void because one party lacked mental capacity or had been unduly influenced into entering the marriage by the other. Instead, the marriage is 'voidable'.

A void marriage does not comply with the legal requirements for a valid marriage and is effectively cancelled. A 'voidable' marriage is valid but can be annulled if one of the spouses makes an application.

A court must consider if the marriage should be set aside because of coercion and lack of free will, but even if this happens, the previous Will remains revoked.

Once the vulnerable person has died, their marriage can no longer be set aside for any reason, however predatory it may have been.

A predator will often marry their victim in secret, sometimes even in a different country, to avoid family members and friends from taking action to prevent it.

One reason for the increase in predatory marriages may be insufficient safeguards. Capacity to marry has a lower threshold than that required to make a Will.

What is the test for capacity to marry?

The Mental Capacity Act 2005 begins with a presumption that a person has capacity. The burden of proving otherwise rests with the person declaring that they do not.

The legal test for capacity to marry is defined by London Borough of Southwark v KA [2016] (EWHC 661 (Fam)):

It is status-specific rather than person-specific
The wisdom of the marriage is irrelevant
P must understand the broad nature of the marriage contract
P must understand the duties and responsibilities that normally attach to marriage, including financial consequences, status and connection of spouses
The essence is to live together and to love one another
P must not lack the capacity to enter into sexual relations

The married couple doesn't need to live together for their marriage to be legally valid. The absence of a romantic relationship is a risk factor for a potentially predatory relationship but is not part of the test for the capacity to marry.

Emotional Issues

Beyond the financial aspects, the emotional toll of a parent's second marriage can be profound.

It's natural to feel a sense of loss, abandonment, or even jealousy when a new person enters the family dynamic. Acknowledging and processing these emotions is crucial for your own well-being. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can provide a safe space to navigate these complex feelings.

Feeling Replaced

The emotional challenges can be exacerbated by the feeling of being replaced.

It's important to recognise that a parent's decision to remarry does not diminish the love or bond they share with their children.

Communicating openly with your parent about your emotions and concerns can foster understanding and help maintain a healthy relationship despite the changes.

Finding a Path Forward

Ultimately, coping with your parent's second marriage requires open communication, empathy, and a commitment to understanding each other's perspectives. Participating in family discussions about estate planning, expressing your emotions honestly, and working towards acceptance can pave the way for a more harmonious relationship within the transformed family structure.

If you would like to discuss your personal situation feel free to reach out.

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How will my Mum’s second marriage affect me?